Meditation Reboot

For years, I used to joke that I was a yoga teacher who was bad at meditating. It became my MO; I was happy enough to be a yoga teacher who didn’t feel the need to sit quietly every day. The truth, though, is meditating had always been a thorn in my side, and I grew tired of laughing at myself for not being “good” at it.

I easily connect to my breath, body and overall energy when engaged in physical activities and exercise (yoga, running, boxing, skiing, you name it). So, I allowed myself to believe I was making strides in mindfulness in this way. I was proud of my “moving meditation” and I felt it gave me an easy out from the seated form of the practice.

While fitness is without question a wonderful outlet to disengage from the world, it is very different than sitting quietly, observing passing thoughts and becoming present to the physical sensation of the present moment. This traditional form of meditation didn’t come naturally to me, and so I always drew the conclusion I was a bad meditator. But by stating I was “bad” at this practice, I was labeling myself. By labeling myself, I was limiting myself.

When I excavate a bit, and shovel away my own BS, I realize that I wasn’t bad at meditating as much as I didn’t prioritize it. It takes time to sit in meditation. Who has time to do nothing? Dishes in the sink, laundry piled up, work and family commitments, social media and emails to check...I’m too busy to meditate. When I did try to sit quietly, it didn’t last.

Here’s the thing: we are “bad” at everything when we start. It takes time to perfect any craft. We didn’t run out of the womb. As babies, it took us months just to figure out our arms are attached to our bodies. But babies don’t give up when they fail the first time. Instead they push forward, fall down (a lot), and try again. This is how we learn to crawl, walk and eventually run.

We can learn a lot from our younger selves. So how can we can get back to our childhood eagerness and unwillingness to give up?

I believe it begins with shifting our mindset whether in regards to meditating, exercising, or anything else we would like to work on. Instead of judging yourself for a few failed attempts, praise yourself for attempting in the first place. 

Next, start small. Don’t try to meditate for 30 minutes off the bat. Aim for two minutes of silence. Or, if your goal is to be a runner, start with going out for one mile where you alternate running and walking.

One of the most helpful things you can do is recruit a buddy or a few people who share your goal. Hold each other accountable by checking in, and regularly getting together to do your chosen activity.  Keep inspiring one another with positive affirmations and humor. 

Finally, cut yourself some slack and practice instant forgiveness. You will falter. You will miss a day or multiple days of your desired activity. But don’t let these minor slips take you out. You can restart anytime, and it’s much easier to hit the GO button once again without all your negative self-talk.

I don’t purport to being a “good” meditator now. I understand it’s a practice that requires putting in the time with the right intention. What I have noticed, though, are positive shifts in my daily life: I don’t reach for my phone as much; I have replaced the need for constant distractions with the need for more mental space; and I have begun to appreciate the hard work of sitting and doing nothing. And that’s no joke.